"Why the hell don't I have a girlfriend" is a common grievance I keep hearing from guys around me. And who exactly are these guys? These guys are all 22-25 year olds, brilliant, hardworking engineering students who otherwise have done really well for themselves in life. But I find that this issue has the potential to bring out a lot of hidden feelings which at best can be described as 'frustration' at not having secured the romantic liaison of a member of the opposite sex. Although I myself have not been in a relationship ever, I have seen many of them germinate, bloom and also wither, from a very close range. The message which needs to go out with this blog is "It's okay if you don't have a girlfriend yet".
Without making this blog too long (and hence boring) I would like to categorically state that the most stable romantic relationships are formed between the ages of 18 and 21 (a bit paradoxical if you ask me...more on that later). If you are within that age range, congratulations, if you are not, remove 'find girlfriend' from the top of your priority lists. There are lots of better things you can do with your lives.
You see, I have discovered that not all girls are equally anxious to meet the man of their dreams, find love and live happily ever after. Guys on the other hand, see every single girl of a similar age as potential candidates with whom they can ride into the proverbial sunset. Exactly why this notion is wrong is worthy of a dedicated blog posting in itself. But I'll stick to the topic here.
I have seen that there are a very few girls who exhibit low relationship inertia. That is to say, they have no problems being one half of a romantic relationship. These are the type of girls my friends whom I mentioned in the first paragraph dream about meeting. But sadly, these girls are so good, that they get snared pretty early on. That is to say, they are already into a relationship before they turn 21. That is why I say that the best time to fall in love is between the ages of 18-21. Why? what happens after that? Read on...
There is another set of girls who have completely different expectations out of life. In their life's 'to-do' list, falling in love is preceded by studies and career ambitions, or it is reserved post marriage (with a guy of their parents' choice of course). Some of these girls may be burned from a previous relationship, which keeps them from forming new ones. You get the drift, right? These girls are the ones my friends from the first paragraph keep running into. They try really hard to get them to fall in love with them, but like that is ever going to happen. If a girl is single by the time she is 23 or above, trust me it's more by design than accident.
So my friends, if you find yourself on the wrong side of 21, stop chasing after girls, stop expecting to magically meet 'the one', wait for your parents to find 'the one' for you to marry, it'll save you a great deal of heartburn. Exceptions are of course possible, but rarely seen. You could of course, try and find a girlfriend who is 18-21 years old, but it's something I wouldn't personally recommend.
The reason why you did not find a girlfriend and fall in love during that golden window of four years is because you were busy. Busy studying, making a career, building your foundations for a comfortable life. If today you have a job and a decent income or you are in higher education and in any case have plans for the future, well done! you have spent your time well. You will surely be rewarded for it, trust me. How exactly, you may ask. Recollect that I had told you about girls who have postponed falling in love till after marriage. These are the ones for you! The girls your parents choose will invariably belong to this sub-class. They'll be beautiful, smart, educated, probably having good jobs and all. Not bad, right? Cheer up now :)
And lastly, I always thought that choosing your life partner is one of the toughest decisions you are ever going to make. I never quite understood how young boys and girls are able to make that decision when they are barely out of their teens, and make it last! What tells them that this person is going to fit into their families, take care of their parents and love all those who care about them. What makes them sure that this is the person who they'll continue to like even after they have become fat/bald, whether they'll still share the same views 6-7 years down the line., and a whole lot of questions like these. To be honest, today at 23.5 years of age, I still don't know. But what I do know now is that when you say 'i love you' to your partner at that young an age, and say it like you mean it, there is an innocent resolve to that statement. There are no asterisk marks at the end of the sentence indicating hidden conditions. At that age, the minds are yet to be corrupted, yet to be caught up in the rat race that is today's life. The mind is pure and maybe that is why, those words come from the heart...and prevail!
Without making this blog too long (and hence boring) I would like to categorically state that the most stable romantic relationships are formed between the ages of 18 and 21 (a bit paradoxical if you ask me...more on that later). If you are within that age range, congratulations, if you are not, remove 'find girlfriend' from the top of your priority lists. There are lots of better things you can do with your lives.
You see, I have discovered that not all girls are equally anxious to meet the man of their dreams, find love and live happily ever after. Guys on the other hand, see every single girl of a similar age as potential candidates with whom they can ride into the proverbial sunset. Exactly why this notion is wrong is worthy of a dedicated blog posting in itself. But I'll stick to the topic here.
I have seen that there are a very few girls who exhibit low relationship inertia. That is to say, they have no problems being one half of a romantic relationship. These are the type of girls my friends whom I mentioned in the first paragraph dream about meeting. But sadly, these girls are so good, that they get snared pretty early on. That is to say, they are already into a relationship before they turn 21. That is why I say that the best time to fall in love is between the ages of 18-21. Why? what happens after that? Read on...
There is another set of girls who have completely different expectations out of life. In their life's 'to-do' list, falling in love is preceded by studies and career ambitions, or it is reserved post marriage (with a guy of their parents' choice of course). Some of these girls may be burned from a previous relationship, which keeps them from forming new ones. You get the drift, right? These girls are the ones my friends from the first paragraph keep running into. They try really hard to get them to fall in love with them, but like that is ever going to happen. If a girl is single by the time she is 23 or above, trust me it's more by design than accident.
So my friends, if you find yourself on the wrong side of 21, stop chasing after girls, stop expecting to magically meet 'the one', wait for your parents to find 'the one' for you to marry, it'll save you a great deal of heartburn. Exceptions are of course possible, but rarely seen. You could of course, try and find a girlfriend who is 18-21 years old, but it's something I wouldn't personally recommend.
The reason why you did not find a girlfriend and fall in love during that golden window of four years is because you were busy. Busy studying, making a career, building your foundations for a comfortable life. If today you have a job and a decent income or you are in higher education and in any case have plans for the future, well done! you have spent your time well. You will surely be rewarded for it, trust me. How exactly, you may ask. Recollect that I had told you about girls who have postponed falling in love till after marriage. These are the ones for you! The girls your parents choose will invariably belong to this sub-class. They'll be beautiful, smart, educated, probably having good jobs and all. Not bad, right? Cheer up now :)
And lastly, I always thought that choosing your life partner is one of the toughest decisions you are ever going to make. I never quite understood how young boys and girls are able to make that decision when they are barely out of their teens, and make it last! What tells them that this person is going to fit into their families, take care of their parents and love all those who care about them. What makes them sure that this is the person who they'll continue to like even after they have become fat/bald, whether they'll still share the same views 6-7 years down the line., and a whole lot of questions like these. To be honest, today at 23.5 years of age, I still don't know. But what I do know now is that when you say 'i love you' to your partner at that young an age, and say it like you mean it, there is an innocent resolve to that statement. There are no asterisk marks at the end of the sentence indicating hidden conditions. At that age, the minds are yet to be corrupted, yet to be caught up in the rat race that is today's life. The mind is pure and maybe that is why, those words come from the heart...and prevail!
