It was a Sunday evening. I had to go to the market to buy some things, which takes about 10 minutes to reach by road from my house. General laziness meant that I was not going to walk all the way, add to that my environmental concerns and the only possible mode of transport left (other than a flying carpet) was the public bus.
So I took the bus to the market, the fact that I had to spend 20 minutes at the bus stop doing a whole lot of nothing was offset by the happy realization that I was not polluting the environment (or at least sharing my carbon footprint with 50 other people), so that was good. Anyways, I reached the market, bought what I needed and before long, it was time to head back. So I went and stood in line, waiting for the bus to arrive.
It takes top notch engineering, sheer determination and God's ample blessings to keep the Thane municipal buses running despite the despicable condition they are in. But seeing as to how it was a Sunday, the first two were in short supply so the buses were more delayed than usual. Now this particular bus stop which I was at lies on a very busy arterial road that takes traffic away from Thane's railway station into the city, consequently, it is full of vehicles at all times of the day. Also, the road curves in what car racing enthusiasts would recognize as a chicane right in front of the bus stop. It is a very small one but it is there. As I was making these observations to myself, a speeding auto rickshaw crossed the chicane leaving in its wake...a trail of sparks.
Red..hot..smoking..beautiful. They rolled carefree on the surface of the road for a few seconds before oxidizing away into oblivion. But they had definitely caught my attention. I looked up to see if anyone else had noticed them, but people around me were busy fidgeting with their cell phones or looking bored. Nobody seemed to care. And then they were there again! A speeding SUV was their parent this time. Wonderful! I thought to myself...realizing that the size of the vehicle was not a factor in the production of these mini pyrotechnics. A few more vehicles of all shapes and sizes passed by after the SUV, but there were no fireworks to be seen.
What could be common to a puny auto rickshaw and a 1500 kg SUV? Could it be that the road surface was not perfectly level causing the undersides of vehicles to graze against it. When traveling at a decent speed, the friction was sure to lead to sparks. Yes, that had to be it. But just then I saw another rickshaw which was traveling at a slower speed go over the chicane and yet again there were sparks. Now I was really intrigued. Obviously the size of the vehicle was not a factor and now speed had been eliminated too. What was left?
Faults in the vehicles themselves? Possible, but highly improbable given the close to mint condition of the SUV. Sudden braking causing the brake drums to heat up? Okay, but there were no screeching sounds. Broken exhaust pipes? But they were too quiet for that. Nothing seemed to fit. Just then I remembered that the SUV was the third vehicle to pass the chicane after the first rickshaw and the other rickshaw was the seventh vehicle to pass after the SUV. Could this seemingly random production of sparks be following a mathematical series? Three dots in an infinite space can never help, but I hopefully kept observing every vehicle that passed the spot...but there were no sparks. Looked like the glow-show was over.
My bus arrived just then and I was shoved inside. But the question kept burning inside my head...but why? but why only those three automobiles? but why not the others? but this but that but but butt. I reckoned my head would start smoking anytime. And then it hit me...
Burning...butt...smoking...of course! The seemingly random, unexplained sparks were nothing but cigarette butts! The people in those three automobiles had to have been smoking, probably they had finished the fag and were throwing it away after the last puff...at that time it is still alight and if thrown on the ground, a few loose, burning pieces of paper and tobacco could give rise to the sparks I saw. Everything fit so beautifully! It was one of those times when I felt wise and naive at the same time. So much for my scientific pursuits though...they would have to wait for another time to spark forth :)
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Of receptions, biryanis and protests.
Last December, I along with a friend of mine had to go to Hyderabad for another friend’s wedding reception. Simple enough you say? Book your tickets, go to Hyderabad, come back…what more is there? You’re right, there is nothing more to it, even I thought the same way. But once I had made the trip I realized that there was a lot more to it…read on.
It never happened...almost
Till the last moment, I was not sure if I was going to go or not. I had a lot of things going on here at the time and didn’t know if leaving them was the best thing to do. We didn’t even have tickets till the day before we were supposed to leave. But Abhijit made one last attempt by invoking the Tatkal quota and we had our tickets. Just like that, defying all logic or convention. The second major hurdle was getting leave from work since we were to leave on a Thursday night and we work in the same office, I was very skeptical if our bosses would agree. But there too we did not face any problems. The trip was well and truly on.
The big switch
So on the fateful evening, we reached CST well in time, found our bogie and seats and had just settled down when I felt the urge to check the reservation chart. I went out and to my horror, I could not find our names in it. At that moment, I just realized that everything that had happened up to that point was too good to be true. We were in the correct bogie, the correct seats, even the correct train and date. Then why were our names missing from the reservation chart. I cursed the railway software for this befuddling error and decided to make one last thorough check of the chart before calling in the authorities. I went over every name in that chart till I came to the bottom and to my utter relief, our names were there! But wait what were they doing at the bottom of the chart? Apparently, we had been upgraded and allotted seats in a 3-AC compartment of the same train. The devil software from a few minutes ago turned hero as I rushed in to tell Abhijit. He too did not believe it at first and wanted to see it with his own eyes. As he came running back confirming the discovery, we realized we had moments before the train started, to cover around 200 meters of a crowded railway platform to reach the a/c compartments. The next opportunity to make the switch would only present itself at Kalyan, a good 40 minutes away and we were not so sure the TC’s would wait that long. So we ran for it…and the train had already started moving when we hauled our luggage and selves into it. The adventure was well and truly underway.
Southern surprise
This was only the second time I was visiting the south of India. My first visit had happened when I was a 9 month old toddler, so next morning, I woke up around 8 when the train had halted at a station called Bijapur in Karnataka. As I looked out of the window, I realized there was something different about this station. Before I could realize what that was, the train had moved off. Our next halt was at Gulbarga. It was here that it struck me. The stations were so clean! A far cry from the crowded and dirty railway stations that I had seen thus far. Very good, or as the French would say, très bien!
Here we are…
We reached Hyderabad around 12:30 in the afternoon and were received by our friend Arpan. Our other friends Praveen, Lohit and Sreevalsa were already in Hyderabad and were supposed to pick us up at the station. As we sat waiting for them, we realized we didn’t have return tickets! We made an unsuccessful trip to the booking centre and in the end, decided that we would make the return journey by bus.
Anyways, after some time, Praveen met us at the station and informed us that he and the others were going gift-shopping for the new couple. Rukku had made arrangements at a place close to his house for us friends to stay and we could go there,they would join us later, he said. Once we reached the place, forget about lunch, forget about freshening up, we just got talking. The three of us had a lot of catching up to do. While talking, we fell asleep only to be awakened by a knock on the door. It was Rukku himself! We congratulated the new groom in unison when his father entered and reminded us that we had not eaten lunch. What a valid point. So we proceeded to his house for one of the best lunches I have ever had in my entire life. Post lunch, the combination of fatigue from the journey and complex carbohydrates from the lunch ensured we did not waste a single minute falling asleep. Bliss.
Reception
The reception was to be held that evening at 7. Praveen, Lohit and Sreevalsa came back from their shopping expedition at 6:30 and awoke us from our slumber. After a few minutes of regrouping, we thought it wise to start readying ourselves for the reception, and Sreevalsa made his way to the bathroom only to realize that there was no water in the taps!! We were literally left high and dry. Fortunately, two years of hostel life had given us the skills necessary to face the world in an unbathed, but confident state. Out came the deos and the hair gels and we were ready in record time!
Reception 2
At the reception, we were joined by Suman, another dear friend. Finally, everyone who had committed to come to the wedding, was at the wedding. Receptions, as I knew them, were a purely casual event devoid of all religious practices. But this was different. After the married couple made their way to the stage and the world got a glimpse of Mrs. and Mr. S. Rukmini Kumar for the very first time, three priests climbed up and started invoking various gods and goddesses to bless the couple for a happy married life. Sreevalsa, in addition to being a PhD student at IISc Bangalore, is also well versed in the Vedas and scriptures. He too joined the priests in the chantings and I am sure the gods were put under extra pressure to bless the couple, a sentiment which at that point of time was shared by all present.
Reception 3
We Indians love our food. More so at weddings. So after the new couple had been duly blessed and people started making their way on stage to greet them, we decided to check out the culinary offerings. Much to the dismay of the carnivores among us, it was an all vegetarian fare that day. Rather than accepting defeat and ingesting it, we decided to go out for chicken, at that very instant. None of us were familiar with the local geography, but this was a thought that had not crossed our meat obsessed brains till that point. So we searched high and low for any place serving chicken in the vicinity. Being unable to do so and out of fear of getting lost, we came back to the reception. Resigned to our fate, we went in to the dining section to see that all the food was over and the caterers were packing up! Oh, the horror!! Then, Rukku came to our rescue and we were given some food out of the share they had saved for the family. Thankfully, the caterer had overestimated Rukku’s family’s eating capacities and they had sufficient food left even after four hungry idiots had eaten their fill.
Post reception
After dinner, we sat out in the lawn and started making plans for the following day. Since it was the first time several of us were in Hyderabad, we wanted to see it all. Unfortunately, time was a constraint and so in the end, it was decided to wake up early, go to Golconda fort, go to the hi-tec city, have biryani at Bawarchi’s and in the evening, return to base to pack up and leave. Wonderful plan!
It was past midnight when the reception got over. We proceeded to our room to retire for the night. But we were once again left high and dry, this time, figuratively. Apparently, the room we had been living in belonged to a friend of Rukku’s, who was not informed that we would be returning late at night. He had locked the house and had gone to sleep. So there we were, in an alien city, without a roof on our heads. We called Rukku who tried calling the owner of the house, but that did not work. In the end, he called us to his house saying that something would work out. In all, there were six of us and his house was already filled to capacity with the outstation guests. We were beginning to wonder if any hotels or lodges would be open at 2 in the night when Rukku’s elder sister told us that their neighbours had agreed to take us in. She was as adamant as we were reluctant to disturb a complete stranger in the middle of the night, but it was useless. So we spent Rukku’s wedding night at the house of complete (and might I add, kind) strangers.
The day after
Of course all our plans made the previous day had gone kaput the moment we woke up at 11. After a hurried bath (our first in two days) we assembled at Rukku’s to decide the next course of action. Over a sumptuous breakfast, reformulations were made. Retaining the biryani bit, we decided to let go of all previous destinations. As per the new plan, we would go to Prasad’s, a mall cum multiplex cum entertainment centre on Necklace road and proceed to Bawarchi’s from there. So we finished our breakfasts, booked our return bus tickets. We didn’t know it at the time, but this move would save our asses big time. Anyways, after a rickshaw ride through the city we reached our destination. The first look didn’t really impress me much…so what, a big mall cum multiplex…seen plenty of those in Mumbai. But the best part of this was the 4-D movie that we saw. 20 mins of absolutely thrilling visuals and effects. Trust me, if you ever get a chance to watch a 4-D movie, do not miss it. Anyways, after this, we decided to move towards the one activity I had been waiting for the whole day…lunch. We stepped out of the mall and tried taking a rickshaw to Bawarchi’s. But strangely, all the rickshaw wallahs refused! A little more digging revealed that Mr. K. Chandrashekhar Rao, in his fast unto death for a separate Telangana state had slipped into a serious condition, giving his goons the license to run amok through the city. We were told that Bawarchi’s had become a target of their ire and had shut down. Not the ones to be disappointed, we settled on going to this other place called Paradise. Only problem was that it was in Secunderabad! Suman soon found a rickshaw willing to accommodate the 5 of us (for an extra 10 bucks of course). We drove all along the beautiful Necklace road and as soon as we entered Secunderabad…
Secunderabad
…we were pulled over by traffic cops for overloading the rickshaw. Some deft bargaining by the rickshaw driver ensured that he was let off just 50 bucks lighter, but this meant that we had to pay extra for our ride. Now I don’t know if this is normally the case or because there was tension in the city that day, Paradise was being guarded by an army of bouncers, complete with black t-shirts and all. But I must say, after enduring so much, the reward came in the form of the awsomest , lip smackingest chicken biryani that I have ever tasted. And they were pretty generous with the quantity too…neither of us could finish his share. After this gastronomic gratification, it was time to head back to Rukku’s, say our goodbyes, pick up our luggages and get going. But judging by how the day had panned out so far, would that have been so easy? You bet not.
Rukku’s house is a long way from Secunderabad and the best way to reach it is by bus. But that day, everybody was in a hurry to get home, so all the buses were overloaded. Suman, who has lived in Hyderabad for some time now, found this unbelievable. He then concluded that it was impossible for us to reach Hyderabad in time for our onward travels, if we continued waiting for the bus. His solution (after consultation with a very helpful traffic cop) was to take the local train.
Hyderabad’s local train system is very different from Bombay’s. Strangely, tickets have to be bought from the platform itself. But again, since that was a special day, everyone wanted to get home as quickly as possible and so there was a long queue at the booking counter. Rather than risk missing the train waiting in line, we decided to risk it and travel ticketless. In hindsight though, it would not have made any difference even if we would have stood in line for 20-25 mins to buy our tickets because the train was late…in a major way. Finally when it arrived, it was jam packed. Fortunately being a Bombay boy had trained me well for this part and we were able to get down at our destination, albeit with a little help from a friendly local.
Once we got out of the station, we saw huge lines at ATM’s and petrol pumps. We were now beginning to realize that the situation was indeed serious. But it really hit us when during the rickshaw ride back, the rickshawallah informed us that there would be a Hyderabad bandh starting the next day and would continue indefinitely. At this point, we realized the prudence of having booked our tickets in advance. Anyways, as we neared home, the possibility of being stuck in Hyderabad for the duration of the bandh was looming large in our heads. More so when the rickshaw driver kept updating us with news of sporadic incidences of violence from the city.
It was a bit of a fight finding conveyance to take us to the bus stop, but with a little help from Rukku’s father (Rukku had already left for his in-laws’ place), we managed that. The scene at the bus stop was more peaceful than we imagined and as we had time to kill, had a few sweets and picked up a few savouries that would last us through the 12 hours that it would take us to reach Bombay. The bus arrived, we found nice seats for ourselves (one of the advantages of being early birds), and we sat down recollecting a most remarkable day in our lives.
But it’s not over yet…
We were supposed to reach Mumbai by 9-10 the next morning. However, it was the day when the Pune city marathon was being organized. So all the major roads were closed to traffic and we waited for an hour and half before getting the go ahead. The fun simply refused to die down.
The end
All said and done, I have realized this...some journeys you plan, and some you don’t. It’s the unplanned ones that give you so much joy...and memories :)
It never happened...almost
Till the last moment, I was not sure if I was going to go or not. I had a lot of things going on here at the time and didn’t know if leaving them was the best thing to do. We didn’t even have tickets till the day before we were supposed to leave. But Abhijit made one last attempt by invoking the Tatkal quota and we had our tickets. Just like that, defying all logic or convention. The second major hurdle was getting leave from work since we were to leave on a Thursday night and we work in the same office, I was very skeptical if our bosses would agree. But there too we did not face any problems. The trip was well and truly on.
The big switch
So on the fateful evening, we reached CST well in time, found our bogie and seats and had just settled down when I felt the urge to check the reservation chart. I went out and to my horror, I could not find our names in it. At that moment, I just realized that everything that had happened up to that point was too good to be true. We were in the correct bogie, the correct seats, even the correct train and date. Then why were our names missing from the reservation chart. I cursed the railway software for this befuddling error and decided to make one last thorough check of the chart before calling in the authorities. I went over every name in that chart till I came to the bottom and to my utter relief, our names were there! But wait what were they doing at the bottom of the chart? Apparently, we had been upgraded and allotted seats in a 3-AC compartment of the same train. The devil software from a few minutes ago turned hero as I rushed in to tell Abhijit. He too did not believe it at first and wanted to see it with his own eyes. As he came running back confirming the discovery, we realized we had moments before the train started, to cover around 200 meters of a crowded railway platform to reach the a/c compartments. The next opportunity to make the switch would only present itself at Kalyan, a good 40 minutes away and we were not so sure the TC’s would wait that long. So we ran for it…and the train had already started moving when we hauled our luggage and selves into it. The adventure was well and truly underway.
Southern surprise
This was only the second time I was visiting the south of India. My first visit had happened when I was a 9 month old toddler, so next morning, I woke up around 8 when the train had halted at a station called Bijapur in Karnataka. As I looked out of the window, I realized there was something different about this station. Before I could realize what that was, the train had moved off. Our next halt was at Gulbarga. It was here that it struck me. The stations were so clean! A far cry from the crowded and dirty railway stations that I had seen thus far. Very good, or as the French would say, très bien!Here we are…
We reached Hyderabad around 12:30 in the afternoon and were received by our friend Arpan. Our other friends Praveen, Lohit and Sreevalsa were already in Hyderabad and were supposed to pick us up at the station. As we sat waiting for them, we realized we didn’t have return tickets! We made an unsuccessful trip to the booking centre and in the end, decided that we would make the return journey by bus.
Anyways, after some time, Praveen met us at the station and informed us that he and the others were going gift-shopping for the new couple. Rukku had made arrangements at a place close to his house for us friends to stay and we could go there,they would join us later, he said. Once we reached the place, forget about lunch, forget about freshening up, we just got talking. The three of us had a lot of catching up to do. While talking, we fell asleep only to be awakened by a knock on the door. It was Rukku himself! We congratulated the new groom in unison when his father entered and reminded us that we had not eaten lunch. What a valid point. So we proceeded to his house for one of the best lunches I have ever had in my entire life. Post lunch, the combination of fatigue from the journey and complex carbohydrates from the lunch ensured we did not waste a single minute falling asleep. Bliss.
Reception
The reception was to be held that evening at 7. Praveen, Lohit and Sreevalsa came back from their shopping expedition at 6:30 and awoke us from our slumber. After a few minutes of regrouping, we thought it wise to start readying ourselves for the reception, and Sreevalsa made his way to the bathroom only to realize that there was no water in the taps!! We were literally left high and dry. Fortunately, two years of hostel life had given us the skills necessary to face the world in an unbathed, but confident state. Out came the deos and the hair gels and we were ready in record time!
Reception 2
At the reception, we were joined by Suman, another dear friend. Finally, everyone who had committed to come to the wedding, was at the wedding. Receptions, as I knew them, were a purely casual event devoid of all religious practices. But this was different. After the married couple made their way to the stage and the world got a glimpse of Mrs. and Mr. S. Rukmini Kumar for the very first time, three priests climbed up and started invoking various gods and goddesses to bless the couple for a happy married life. Sreevalsa, in addition to being a PhD student at IISc Bangalore, is also well versed in the Vedas and scriptures. He too joined the priests in the chantings and I am sure the gods were put under extra pressure to bless the couple, a sentiment which at that point of time was shared by all present.Reception 3
We Indians love our food. More so at weddings. So after the new couple had been duly blessed and people started making their way on stage to greet them, we decided to check out the culinary offerings. Much to the dismay of the carnivores among us, it was an all vegetarian fare that day. Rather than accepting defeat and ingesting it, we decided to go out for chicken, at that very instant. None of us were familiar with the local geography, but this was a thought that had not crossed our meat obsessed brains till that point. So we searched high and low for any place serving chicken in the vicinity. Being unable to do so and out of fear of getting lost, we came back to the reception. Resigned to our fate, we went in to the dining section to see that all the food was over and the caterers were packing up! Oh, the horror!! Then, Rukku came to our rescue and we were given some food out of the share they had saved for the family. Thankfully, the caterer had overestimated Rukku’s family’s eating capacities and they had sufficient food left even after four hungry idiots had eaten their fill.
Post reception
After dinner, we sat out in the lawn and started making plans for the following day. Since it was the first time several of us were in Hyderabad, we wanted to see it all. Unfortunately, time was a constraint and so in the end, it was decided to wake up early, go to Golconda fort, go to the hi-tec city, have biryani at Bawarchi’s and in the evening, return to base to pack up and leave. Wonderful plan!
It was past midnight when the reception got over. We proceeded to our room to retire for the night. But we were once again left high and dry, this time, figuratively. Apparently, the room we had been living in belonged to a friend of Rukku’s, who was not informed that we would be returning late at night. He had locked the house and had gone to sleep. So there we were, in an alien city, without a roof on our heads. We called Rukku who tried calling the owner of the house, but that did not work. In the end, he called us to his house saying that something would work out. In all, there were six of us and his house was already filled to capacity with the outstation guests. We were beginning to wonder if any hotels or lodges would be open at 2 in the night when Rukku’s elder sister told us that their neighbours had agreed to take us in. She was as adamant as we were reluctant to disturb a complete stranger in the middle of the night, but it was useless. So we spent Rukku’s wedding night at the house of complete (and might I add, kind) strangers.The day after
Of course all our plans made the previous day had gone kaput the moment we woke up at 11. After a hurried bath (our first in two days) we assembled at Rukku’s to decide the next course of action. Over a sumptuous breakfast, reformulations were made. Retaining the biryani bit, we decided to let go of all previous destinations. As per the new plan, we would go to Prasad’s, a mall cum multiplex cum entertainment centre on Necklace road and proceed to Bawarchi’s from there. So we finished our breakfasts, booked our return bus tickets. We didn’t know it at the time, but this move would save our asses big time. Anyways, after a rickshaw ride through the city we reached our destination. The first look didn’t really impress me much…so what, a big mall cum multiplex…seen plenty of those in Mumbai. But the best part of this was the 4-D movie that we saw. 20 mins of absolutely thrilling visuals and effects. Trust me, if you ever get a chance to watch a 4-D movie, do not miss it. Anyways, after this, we decided to move towards the one activity I had been waiting for the whole day…lunch. We stepped out of the mall and tried taking a rickshaw to Bawarchi’s. But strangely, all the rickshaw wallahs refused! A little more digging revealed that Mr. K. Chandrashekhar Rao, in his fast unto death for a separate Telangana state had slipped into a serious condition, giving his goons the license to run amok through the city. We were told that Bawarchi’s had become a target of their ire and had shut down. Not the ones to be disappointed, we settled on going to this other place called Paradise. Only problem was that it was in Secunderabad! Suman soon found a rickshaw willing to accommodate the 5 of us (for an extra 10 bucks of course). We drove all along the beautiful Necklace road and as soon as we entered Secunderabad…Secunderabad
…we were pulled over by traffic cops for overloading the rickshaw. Some deft bargaining by the rickshaw driver ensured that he was let off just 50 bucks lighter, but this meant that we had to pay extra for our ride. Now I don’t know if this is normally the case or because there was tension in the city that day, Paradise was being guarded by an army of bouncers, complete with black t-shirts and all. But I must say, after enduring so much, the reward came in the form of the awsomest , lip smackingest chicken biryani that I have ever tasted. And they were pretty generous with the quantity too…neither of us could finish his share. After this gastronomic gratification, it was time to head back to Rukku’s, say our goodbyes, pick up our luggages and get going. But judging by how the day had panned out so far, would that have been so easy? You bet not.
Rukku’s house is a long way from Secunderabad and the best way to reach it is by bus. But that day, everybody was in a hurry to get home, so all the buses were overloaded. Suman, who has lived in Hyderabad for some time now, found this unbelievable. He then concluded that it was impossible for us to reach Hyderabad in time for our onward travels, if we continued waiting for the bus. His solution (after consultation with a very helpful traffic cop) was to take the local train.
Hyderabad’s local train system is very different from Bombay’s. Strangely, tickets have to be bought from the platform itself. But again, since that was a special day, everyone wanted to get home as quickly as possible and so there was a long queue at the booking counter. Rather than risk missing the train waiting in line, we decided to risk it and travel ticketless. In hindsight though, it would not have made any difference even if we would have stood in line for 20-25 mins to buy our tickets because the train was late…in a major way. Finally when it arrived, it was jam packed. Fortunately being a Bombay boy had trained me well for this part and we were able to get down at our destination, albeit with a little help from a friendly local.
Once we got out of the station, we saw huge lines at ATM’s and petrol pumps. We were now beginning to realize that the situation was indeed serious. But it really hit us when during the rickshaw ride back, the rickshawallah informed us that there would be a Hyderabad bandh starting the next day and would continue indefinitely. At this point, we realized the prudence of having booked our tickets in advance. Anyways, as we neared home, the possibility of being stuck in Hyderabad for the duration of the bandh was looming large in our heads. More so when the rickshaw driver kept updating us with news of sporadic incidences of violence from the city.
It was a bit of a fight finding conveyance to take us to the bus stop, but with a little help from Rukku’s father (Rukku had already left for his in-laws’ place), we managed that. The scene at the bus stop was more peaceful than we imagined and as we had time to kill, had a few sweets and picked up a few savouries that would last us through the 12 hours that it would take us to reach Bombay. The bus arrived, we found nice seats for ourselves (one of the advantages of being early birds), and we sat down recollecting a most remarkable day in our lives.
But it’s not over yet…
We were supposed to reach Mumbai by 9-10 the next morning. However, it was the day when the Pune city marathon was being organized. So all the major roads were closed to traffic and we waited for an hour and half before getting the go ahead. The fun simply refused to die down.
The end
All said and done, I have realized this...some journeys you plan, and some you don’t. It’s the unplanned ones that give you so much joy...and memories :)
Saturday, March 21, 2009
The joy of being single
"Why the hell don't I have a girlfriend" is a common grievance I keep hearing from guys around me. And who exactly are these guys? These guys are all 22-25 year olds, brilliant, hardworking engineering students who otherwise have done really well for themselves in life. But I find that this issue has the potential to bring out a lot of hidden feelings which at best can be described as 'frustration' at not having secured the romantic liaison of a member of the opposite sex. Although I myself have not been in a relationship ever, I have seen many of them germinate, bloom and also wither, from a very close range. The message which needs to go out with this blog is "It's okay if you don't have a girlfriend yet".
Without making this blog too long (and hence boring) I would like to categorically state that the most stable romantic relationships are formed between the ages of 18 and 21 (a bit paradoxical if you ask me...more on that later). If you are within that age range, congratulations, if you are not, remove 'find girlfriend' from the top of your priority lists. There are lots of better things you can do with your lives.
You see, I have discovered that not all girls are equally anxious to meet the man of their dreams, find love and live happily ever after. Guys on the other hand, see every single girl of a similar age as potential candidates with whom they can ride into the proverbial sunset. Exactly why this notion is wrong is worthy of a dedicated blog posting in itself. But I'll stick to the topic here.
I have seen that there are a very few girls who exhibit low relationship inertia. That is to say, they have no problems being one half of a romantic relationship. These are the type of girls my friends whom I mentioned in the first paragraph dream about meeting. But sadly, these girls are so good, that they get snared pretty early on. That is to say, they are already into a relationship before they turn 21. That is why I say that the best time to fall in love is between the ages of 18-21. Why? what happens after that? Read on...
There is another set of girls who have completely different expectations out of life. In their life's 'to-do' list, falling in love is preceded by studies and career ambitions, or it is reserved post marriage (with a guy of their parents' choice of course). Some of these girls may be burned from a previous relationship, which keeps them from forming new ones. You get the drift, right? These girls are the ones my friends from the first paragraph keep running into. They try really hard to get them to fall in love with them, but like that is ever going to happen. If a girl is single by the time she is 23 or above, trust me it's more by design than accident.
So my friends, if you find yourself on the wrong side of 21, stop chasing after girls, stop expecting to magically meet 'the one', wait for your parents to find 'the one' for you to marry, it'll save you a great deal of heartburn. Exceptions are of course possible, but rarely seen. You could of course, try and find a girlfriend who is 18-21 years old, but it's something I wouldn't personally recommend.
The reason why you did not find a girlfriend and fall in love during that golden window of four years is because you were busy. Busy studying, making a career, building your foundations for a comfortable life. If today you have a job and a decent income or you are in higher education and in any case have plans for the future, well done! you have spent your time well. You will surely be rewarded for it, trust me. How exactly, you may ask. Recollect that I had told you about girls who have postponed falling in love till after marriage. These are the ones for you! The girls your parents choose will invariably belong to this sub-class. They'll be beautiful, smart, educated, probably having good jobs and all. Not bad, right? Cheer up now :)
And lastly, I always thought that choosing your life partner is one of the toughest decisions you are ever going to make. I never quite understood how young boys and girls are able to make that decision when they are barely out of their teens, and make it last! What tells them that this person is going to fit into their families, take care of their parents and love all those who care about them. What makes them sure that this is the person who they'll continue to like even after they have become fat/bald, whether they'll still share the same views 6-7 years down the line., and a whole lot of questions like these. To be honest, today at 23.5 years of age, I still don't know. But what I do know now is that when you say 'i love you' to your partner at that young an age, and say it like you mean it, there is an innocent resolve to that statement. There are no asterisk marks at the end of the sentence indicating hidden conditions. At that age, the minds are yet to be corrupted, yet to be caught up in the rat race that is today's life. The mind is pure and maybe that is why, those words come from the heart...and prevail!
Without making this blog too long (and hence boring) I would like to categorically state that the most stable romantic relationships are formed between the ages of 18 and 21 (a bit paradoxical if you ask me...more on that later). If you are within that age range, congratulations, if you are not, remove 'find girlfriend' from the top of your priority lists. There are lots of better things you can do with your lives.
You see, I have discovered that not all girls are equally anxious to meet the man of their dreams, find love and live happily ever after. Guys on the other hand, see every single girl of a similar age as potential candidates with whom they can ride into the proverbial sunset. Exactly why this notion is wrong is worthy of a dedicated blog posting in itself. But I'll stick to the topic here.
I have seen that there are a very few girls who exhibit low relationship inertia. That is to say, they have no problems being one half of a romantic relationship. These are the type of girls my friends whom I mentioned in the first paragraph dream about meeting. But sadly, these girls are so good, that they get snared pretty early on. That is to say, they are already into a relationship before they turn 21. That is why I say that the best time to fall in love is between the ages of 18-21. Why? what happens after that? Read on...
There is another set of girls who have completely different expectations out of life. In their life's 'to-do' list, falling in love is preceded by studies and career ambitions, or it is reserved post marriage (with a guy of their parents' choice of course). Some of these girls may be burned from a previous relationship, which keeps them from forming new ones. You get the drift, right? These girls are the ones my friends from the first paragraph keep running into. They try really hard to get them to fall in love with them, but like that is ever going to happen. If a girl is single by the time she is 23 or above, trust me it's more by design than accident.
So my friends, if you find yourself on the wrong side of 21, stop chasing after girls, stop expecting to magically meet 'the one', wait for your parents to find 'the one' for you to marry, it'll save you a great deal of heartburn. Exceptions are of course possible, but rarely seen. You could of course, try and find a girlfriend who is 18-21 years old, but it's something I wouldn't personally recommend.
The reason why you did not find a girlfriend and fall in love during that golden window of four years is because you were busy. Busy studying, making a career, building your foundations for a comfortable life. If today you have a job and a decent income or you are in higher education and in any case have plans for the future, well done! you have spent your time well. You will surely be rewarded for it, trust me. How exactly, you may ask. Recollect that I had told you about girls who have postponed falling in love till after marriage. These are the ones for you! The girls your parents choose will invariably belong to this sub-class. They'll be beautiful, smart, educated, probably having good jobs and all. Not bad, right? Cheer up now :)
And lastly, I always thought that choosing your life partner is one of the toughest decisions you are ever going to make. I never quite understood how young boys and girls are able to make that decision when they are barely out of their teens, and make it last! What tells them that this person is going to fit into their families, take care of their parents and love all those who care about them. What makes them sure that this is the person who they'll continue to like even after they have become fat/bald, whether they'll still share the same views 6-7 years down the line., and a whole lot of questions like these. To be honest, today at 23.5 years of age, I still don't know. But what I do know now is that when you say 'i love you' to your partner at that young an age, and say it like you mean it, there is an innocent resolve to that statement. There are no asterisk marks at the end of the sentence indicating hidden conditions. At that age, the minds are yet to be corrupted, yet to be caught up in the rat race that is today's life. The mind is pure and maybe that is why, those words come from the heart...and prevail!
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